Ellen Stapenhorst

Lyrics

(lyrics are posted by album)

GRAVITY & LIGHT LYRICS:

BEYOND THE GREAT DIVIDE

There are wars around the world, battlegrounds at home
The air is full of bullet speech, the rapid fire of stones
It’s hard to hear this hatred coming from all sides
Will we ever find a way across the great divide?

How did we get to this point, there’s so much easy blame
So quick to call it evil when we don’t believe the same
But the words have made me stronger, made me look inside
To try and find a way across the great divide

It’s neighbor against neighbor, father versus son
We don’t know how to listen, and this battle can’t be won

Now’s the time for courage, for reaching out a hand
Learning how to listen, how to understand
For we’re all in this together, at the turning of the tide
Looking for a way across the great divide

On through light and darkness the earth still turns around
The truth is we are living on common ground

The world is getting smaller, there’s no place left to hide
I’ll find my safety in my love and love will be my guide
For I know that there is goodness in those on every side
And we’re looking for a place beyond the great divide
Yes, I know that there is goodness in those on every side
And we’re looking for a place beyond…
Beyond the great divide

CASTLE

Build me a castle of dreams and of stone
Raise it up high, on a hillside alone
Watch how it weathers the centuries long
And even in ruins, it’s still standing strong

The walls of my castle, they’re thick and they’re wide
They keep all the dangers from coming inside
They shelter the people and keep them alive
To return to their fields and the homes where they thrive

It’s steep and it’s rocky, the road to my gate
Travelers enter by courage or fate
They come for protection, they come for the wine
For companions and lovers and music so fine

My castle sustained me through love and through war
Flags flying freely proclaim evermore
The beauty and power that live in these walls
Now covered with flowers as evening falls

My castle sustains me through wars and through love
It’s given me wings, let me see from above
To rise from the ruins and live once again
And carry me onward until journey’s end

I built me a castle of dreams and of bone
I raised it up high on a hillside alone
Watched how it weathered the centuries long
And even in ruins, I’m still standing strong

June 2014 © Ellen Stapenhorst Thank you, Constantin!

CHOOSING TO LIVE

Some say I’m a dreamer, some say I’m a fool
But I know what I know and I know it’s a rule
That you reap what you sow and you get what you give
So in love I am choosing to live

There are moments I know the perfection of life
The beauty of day and the comfort of night
And I know it’s my nature to trust and forgive
So in love I am choosing to live

There are times when the way gets so dark
It seems there is nothing that we can do
But I know in my hungering heart
The way I am choosing is true

Well, I know I’m a dreamer, I know I’m awake
I know what I know is for heaven’s sake
For it’s heaven on earth when it’s love that we give
So in love I am choosing to live

There are times when the way gets so dark
It seems there is nothing that we can do
But I know in my hungering heart
The way I am choosing is true

I know I’m a dreamer, I know I’m a fool
But I know what I know and I know it’s a rule
That we reap what we sow and we get what we give
So in love I am choosing to live—I choose love
Yes, in love I am choosing to live

GRAVITY

Lessons learned from the by and by
Learn to fall when you learn to fly
You’d better learn to fly when you start to fall
Gravity can kill you

There’s a sweet bird singing in the mountain ash
Raindrops falling with a gentle splash
They hit the ground and turn to ice
And gravity can kill you

Once I stopped falling
I couldn’t cry
I built a wall, and I built it so high
That only the sweet bird crossing the sky
Could make me remember that once I could fly

Lessons learned from the by and by…
Learn to laugh when you learn to cry
You’d better learn to fly when you start to fall
Gravity is waiting

NEW WAY HOME

Even if nothing is new beneath the sun
We are watching the old ways come undone…

I thought I knew you, but it’s a new you
Now I’ve got no clue if I still know you
This storm that blew through has left me blue through
And through without you, but I don’t doubt you

Will find your own way home
I know how much you’ve grown
Through the years, through the fears and the tears
You’ll find your own way home

I thought I knew me, but it’s a new me
Can’t find the old me, nothing to hold me
I have been set free and I am debt free
But don’t forget me, I can’t just let it be

And find my own way home
I know how much I’ve grown
Through the years, through the fears and the tears
I’ll find my own way home

Even if nothing is new beneath the sun
We are watching the old ways come undone
We’ll find a new way home
I know how much we’ve grown
Through the years, and the fears, through the tears
We’ll find a new way home
A new way home
You are not alone
We’ll find a new way home
We’ll find a new way home

OUR WORLD

One more time around the sun, what in the world has been undone
An opening for peace has come, and you and I must be the ones…
It’s our world
No more waiting, no more days, hiding in a fearful haze
The message came and it’s agreed…we can be the ones we need
It’s our world, our choice, to speak now with one voice
For our world

There are those who see a way to live into a brighter day
Reaching out a hand in faith that others, too, will want to say
It’s our world
And so we make the highest bid, to drain the fuel, to be rid
Of enemies and make them friends, bring the hatred to an end
In our world

A dream alive around the world is here within our reach
Many voices join as one to live in harmony
With our world, our choice, our dream, our voice

We sing for peace, we speak for truth, we work for justice & the earth
We speak for all the ones who can’t, for the oceans and the land
The children and the sky above, but most of all we sing for love

For our world, our choice, our dream, our voice
It’s our world, our choice, our dream and our voice
It’s our world…it’s our world
It’s our world

Words and music © 2013 by Ellen Stapenhorst
November 22, 2013

REMEMBER ME

You might not see me, but I am with you…remember me, remember me
You can hear me when I whisper…remember me, remember me
I gave you comfort, gave you beauty…broke your heart and set you free
For a lifetime, for a moment….remember me, remember me

I am hungry, cold and homeless…remember me, remember me
I am lonely, lost and hopeless…remember me, remember me
I give my mind, my limbs, my life…to protect you endlessly
When this battle is finally over….remember me, remember me

I am the friend who never wavers…remember me, remember me
I am kindness among strangers, I’m the world that might still be

You might not see me, but I am with you…remember me, remember me
I can hear you when you whisper….remember me, remember me
I am the light in dark places, I’m the truth that sets you free
I am the one your heart embraces…remember me, remember me
I am the one your heart embraces…remember me, remember me

SEARCHING FOR THE SEA

From small beginnings springing up and rain that’s coming down
The river starts it humble way, a stream upon the ground
It finds its way by moving, obeying gravity
Looking for its path upon the earth while searching for the sea

It winds its way through gentle hills and meadows lush and green
Bringing water to the living things that no one else has seen
Imprisoned by a rocky wall until it finally breaks free
And all is changed along the way while searching for the sea

Nothing to prove, the river flows surely to the sea
So much to give each day along the way while searching for the sea

When I was young the way seemed clear and I could hear the call
Of the river flowing easily, inviting one and all
It seemed there was no warning of rough waters waiting for me
And all the falls along the way while searching for the sea

But the river’s always faithful, the current’s running strong
Asking for surrender, nothing right, nothing wrong
We are here where we belong

I always thought I needed to be something more than I am
I changed my way a thousand times, trying to make the perfect plan
But the river never gives up, it flows until it’s free
Finding home along the way while searching for the sea

Nothing to prove, the river flows surely to the sea
So much to give each day along the way while searching for the sea
Nothing to prove, the river flows, and carries you and me
So much to give each day along the way while searching for the sea

THE HARVEST

The nights are getting longer, longer than the days
I pray that I’ll stay strong as the summer fades away
There’s a coolness in the breeze, the cats just stay inside
The leaves turn any shade but green, the geese are flying high

And the harvest is coming in
From the long days of nurturing
From the rain and sun, the bees and birds
Come these riches from the earth
And the harvest is coming in
It will keep us through the wintering
Body and soul need nourishing
And seeds for the distant spring

It doesn’t seem quite real, how quickly days go by
May turns to September in the blinking of an eye
The long hot days of summer, warm nights beneath the stars
Once seemed to last forever, now quickly gone they are

And the harvest is coming in
It will keep us through the wintering
Body and soul need nourishing
And seeds for the distant spring

The fields are overflowing with blessings from the dirt
I’m dazzled by the golden light, so beautiful it hurts
Perfection of the cycles, the interplay of all
Springing forth around us in the bounty of the fall

And the harvest is coming in from the long days of nurturing
From the rain and sun, the bees and birds
Come these riches from the earth
And the harvest is coming in, it will keep us through the wintering
Body and soul need nourishing
And seeds for the distant spring

THE VEIL IS THIN

Raven’s shadow crosses me
The trees are getting bare
Darkness wraps around the day
And winter’s in the air
I think of you, a long time gone
And now I feel you near
The veil is thin, without, within
At this changing time of year

I long to walk and talk with you
And hold you close again
Seasons wrap around the days
As if there is no end
I think of you, so newly gone
And see you everywhere
The veil is thin, without, within
At this changing time of year

Will you tell me something, will you stay awhile?
I thought I heard a whisper, I’m sure I saw your smile
I’m listening and what I hear
Is there’s no need to fear
The veil is thin, without, within
At this changing time of year

I see a host of cherished folks
Who’ve gone ahead of me
They’re looking in my eyes again
And loving what they see
Maybe they are never gone
Maybe we’re all here
The veil is thin, without, within
At this holy time of year
Yes, the veil is thin…

THERE IS A LIGHT

Winter nights are closing in
Cozy fires beckoning
Calling, calling you home
Leave your troubles at the door
Remember what you came here for
The light, the love that is your own

There is a light somewhere in the darkest night
And it’s shining there for you
A new day will come from the longest night
Bringing hope to carry through

Turn the pages on the year
New beginnings now and here
Calling, calling you on
Seeds are planted deep below
Darkness gives them strength to grow
Awakening the coming dawn

There is a light somewhere in the darkest night
And it’s shining there for you
A new day will come from the longest night
Bringing hope to carry through

Listen to the quietness, feel its soft embrace
Let it hold you and sustain you, and fill you with grace

There is a light somewhere in the darkest night
And it’s shining there in you
A new day will come from the longest night
Bringing hope to carry through

There is a light somewhere in the darkest night
And it’s shining there in you
A new day will come from the longest night
Bringing hope, bringing peace, bringing joy, bringing love
To carry through, to carry through, to carry through, to carry through

WHO I AM

I remember who I am, I remember who I am
Love is so alive in me, I remember who I am

I am open, I am free….I remember who I am
Love has made a home in me….I remember who I am
Breathing in this glorious day…I remember who I am
Breathing out, love’s on its way…I remember who I am

I remember who I am, I remember who I am
Love is so alive in me, I remember who I am

I am centered, I am whole…I remember who I am
I have riches more than gold…I remember who I am
I am joyful, I am strong…I remember who I am
I find peace within my song…I remember who I am

I remember who I am, I remember who I am
Love is so alive in me, I remember who I am

I remember who you are, I remember who you are
Love is so alive in you, I remember who you are

I remember who we are, I remember who we are
Love is so alive in us, I remember who we are
Yes, I remember who we are
We remember who we are

SHIFTING SAND LYRICS:

CABIN IN THE MEADOW

There’s a cabin in a meadow, just below the Great Divide
It seems you see forever, think I’ll go there for a while
Need to change what I’ve been seeing, I’ve been trapped inside too long
Need to find out what I’m feeling, let go and move on

It seems this life is crazy, calls to make and bills to pay
I get so torn I cannot find my heart, without my heart I lose my way
Then I take the time to notice the Earth still has her say
Spinning on in perfect rhythm, every season, every day

Seems like the land remembers me
So many years I’ve come to this place
Come for comfort, come to heal, come to think, come to see…
Do you remember me?

Then I feel your love around me, even in the air I breathe
I lean my back against the earth, I never want to leave

There’s a cabin in a meadow, just below the Great Divide
Seems you see forever, think I’ll go there for a while

DON’T YOU LISTEN

There’s a rock on the ridge by the old mason bridge
And I’m hoping you’ll meet me tonight
Put a rose on your sill if you think that you will
I’ll be there in the cool evening light
People will say that I always will stray
I’m a rogue and I’ll never be true
But they’ve never seen what I see in my dreams
Of a life and a love here with you

Oh Mary, don’t you listen
To what people say about me
I’ve a heart good and true and I give it to you
And I’m yours while the rivers run free

Oh Dan, I’m a fool and I know I’ve been cruel
But I’m tired of my old petty ways
This place gets me down and it’s all over town
That I’m cold as the short winter days
But I don’t want a man who will ask for my hand
And then treat me like I’m property
So I’m alone, but somehow I’ve known
That with you I could love and be free

Oh Danny, don’t you listen
To what people say about me
I’ve a heart good and true and I give it to you
And I’m yours while the rivers run free

Oh darling, don’t you listen
To what people say about me
I’ve a heart good and true and I give it to you
And I’m yours while the rivers run free

EVERY REASON TO LOVE

Hold on, go slow, breathe deep, let go
At every moment there is every reason to love

It’s so easy to get lost and afraid
Travel down that negative road
Could be easy, with a little change of mind
To get lost, and found, in love

Hold on, go slow, breathe deep, let go
At every moment there is every reason to love

There are reasons for everything
At least we can see it that way
Choose the reasons that make your heart sing
And live in them every day

Hold on, go slow, breathe deep, let go
At every moment there is every reason to love
In the good times, hard climbs, slow lines, stop signs…
At every moment there is every reason to love

It’s a lifetime of remembering
To be here, here and now
A simple thing in a complicated world
Breathe deep…remember how

Hold on, go slow, breathe deep, let go
At every moment there is every reason (to love)
At every moment there is every reason (to love)
At every moment there is every reason to love

FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEM

I’ve got a fundamental problem, I’ll admit that I’m confused
If all these fundamentalist folks are right, then everyone will lose
It’s a function of the righteous to think the only way is theirs
If you’re not with us you’re against us
It’s my way or the highway
And that highway leads to you know where

It might be Christians or Muslims, Buddhists or Hindus
Pagans, AA, atheists or Jews
Vegans or environmentalists, oilmen or capitalists
Right, Left, Unitarians too
If everybody’s right, then everybody’s wrong
At least from my point of view

And it’s a fundamental problem
I’ll admit that I’m confused…

I don’t think that Jesus would have liked what people do
All this hating and this killing in his name
Some imams of Mohammed have twisted his words
I’m not sure it’s the prophet who’s to blame
All this black and white is blinding in the light
Give me some shades of grey, shades of grey…

‘Cause it’s a fundamental problem
It’s a funambulist funereal fugue
If all these fundamentalist folks are right
Then everyone is screwed
It’s a function of the righteous to think we have the only way
So I’ll wish you well and I’ll see you in hell
On that crowded judgment day….we won’t be lonely
On that crowded judgment day

©2008 words and music by Ellen Stapenhorst

GRAND JUNCTION (BROKE DOWN AND STALLED IN)

I left my longtime home in Colorado
Thinking it would be a downhill ride 
With a carrot made of dreams to lead me onward 
And everything I owned packed in behind
A hundred miles down the road I started shaking
There were still a thousand more to go
Was it me or my old truck that was breaking
Both of us were carrying a load

'Til I broke down and stalled in Grand Junction… 
Locked in four walls in a Holiday Inn 
Well, my truck is willing but my heart has come undone

A tug of war was going on inside me 
A hundred voices calling me back home
While the sirens of the sun and fame and fortune 
Were urging me to drive on to the great unknown

'Til I broke down and stalled in Grand Junction
Locked in four walls in a Holiday Inn 
Well, my truck is willing but my heart has come undone

I can't go back, right now I can't go on 
Maybe I'll get moving when I see tomorrow dawn

In my holiday room with flowered curtains
Vibrabed and cable TV 
No surprises but that face in the mirror 
Can't have anything to do with me
I think she's broke down and stalled in Grand Junction….
Locked in four walls in a Holiday Inn 
Well, my truck is willing but my heart has come undone

I'd like to keep on moving 
Cross Utah and Nevada to the California sun 
Well, my truck is willing but my heart has come undone

IF NOT YOU

I awoke from a dream, I was sent to Northern Ireland
To try and stop the killing there, to bring peace
I said, “You ask too much, you who send me to this land
There’s no magic in these hands to make the hatred cease”
Then a thousand voices echoed and they did not fade away
Saying

If not you, if not me, who will it be
If not you, if not me, who will it be
Can you stand by and do nothing ‘cause you cannot do it all
If not you, if not me, who will it be?

Was it only a dream or was I in another troubled land
Countless huddled homeless with their children, fleeing harm
And their hands reached out and I knew I had to fill them
But, lord, there are so many and I only have two arms
Then a thousand voices echoed and they did not fade away
Saying
If not you, if not me, who will it be
If not you, if not me, who will it be
Can you stand by and do nothing ‘cause you cannot do it all
If not you, if not me, who will it be?

Now these dreams and others like them are with me everyday
They’re here in every movement, in every word we say
And the Earth and all creation are crying out today
We’re all in this together…we must find a better way
And a thousand voices echo and they do not fade away
Saying
If not you, if not me, who will it be
If not you, if not me, who will it be
Can you stand by and do nothing ‘cause you cannot do it all
If not you, if not me, who will it be?

MEET ME BY THE RIVER

Will you meet me by the river
Will you stop and take my hand
We can cross in shallow water
We can dance on shifting sand

I can see, now, light within you
I can feel it touching me
In this play of light and shadow
Lies the best that we can be

Dreams of peace, dreams of justice
Growing stronger everyday
Keep the faith and keep on walking
Live the dream in every way

Oh Creator, make me willing
To work with you side by side
We can climb the highest mountain
We can sail the strongest tide

Will you meet me by the river
Will you stop and take my hand
We can cross in flowing water
We can dance on shifting sand
We can cross in flowing water
We can dance on shifting sand

MISSING YOU

I’ve been walking on this misty morning
Looking to find my way
Thinking about you and the way the world is
Wondering what you’d say
For you always had the courage to see things differently
And I try to imagine, try to hear your voice
Try to walk with you today

Last night I was with you, riding by your side
I guess it was a dream
And you looked so lovely, so happy and alive
Just the way it used to be
And you told me not to worry—I have everything I need
But you said don’t waste time, it goes by so fast
Like a swollen mountain stream

And if life is a river, you jumped right in
While I was clinging to the shore
Now I hear your voice saying to let go
Let the river show me so much more
And you said, we’ll all be taken, if we hang on or let go
And there are no answers, only this ride
In a boat without an oar

I’ve been walking, thinking about you
I’ve been missing you today

PRAYER

Give me strength to do my best
Give me courage for the rest
Give me patience for the world
And times that I’m unsure

Let me see beyond the words
Find the heart wanting to be heard
Let my hands be soft and true
And let your healing through

Let me stand with open heart
Let my life become my art
Let me give, let me receive
And live my days with grace and ease

Thank you for the tears that cleanse
Thank you for the heart that mends
With gratitude that fills my soul
I am blessed and I am whole

TAKING OUR LIVES IN OUR HANDS

Rise up, it’s a new day
Good morning, sister
Good morning, brother
There’s so much to do
And the first thing is to listen
To be quiet and to speak the truth

We’re taking our lives in our hands
I am in yours, you are in mine
And we’re taking our lives in our hands
The future will grow from the seeds that we sow today

Stand up, it’s our moment
We are the bridge now, reaching tomorrow
That touches yesterday
And a question we must ask now:
Is this as true for my grandchildren’s children as it is today?

We’re taking our lives in our hands
I am in yours, you are in mine
And we’re taking our lives in our hands
The future will grow from the seeds that we sow today

Life…so incredibly strong yet incredibly fragile
Sings through our hearts and the touch of our hands
In the cries of the children and the eyes of the old ones
In the ancient dark forests and the flight of a hawk
In the grace of the earth and the gift of our minds
It’s the thread that weaves and dances and invisibly binds

We’re taking our lives in our hands
I am in yours, you are in mine
And we’re taking our lives in our hands
The future will grow from the seeds that we sow today

WAITING (I Am Waiting)

I am waiting on my heart
On the sun and moon and stars
On the wind to tell me where you are
Sometimes when the night is clear
I can feel you very near
Feel you breathing, know that you are here

I am waiting….

I’ve been wandering all alone
Wondering if the seeds I’ve sown
Will grow into a life, a love my own
I’ve been hoping you might be
Somewhere close to comfort me
Take me in your arms tenderly

I am waiting….

And I carry deep within
Everything I might have been
What I am and what I now begin
And your voice now calls me on
To let go of all I’ve known
And I know that you were never gone

I am waiting….

I am waiting, I am listening
I am hoping, I am wishing
I am loving…I am home

AT MY DADDY’S SIDE

When I was young my daddy’d drive me around
Pretend to get lost in some new part of town
He’d say, “My girl, you’ve got to help me, I don’t know where we are…
You’ll have to find our way home”
And I’d laugh and feel so special, though I knew that he was fooling
I felt safe and oh so smart at my daddy’s side

We’d put pennies on the railroad track
Sometimes nickels or even a dime
He’d say, “My girl, stand back and listen, you can hear that engine whine
The Daylight, she always runs on time”
And we’d wave to the engineer and count the clacking cars
I felt safe and oh so bold on my daddy’s arm

The orchards are long gone from that southern California time
When the nights were heavenly perfume
Before he died my daddy blessed me with a gypsy bone
And sang to me a traveling tune

Now I’m grown up, though it rarely seems that way
And I’m always going somewhere and the days just slip away
I say, “My girl, you’ve got to wake up—you don’t know where you are
You’ll have to find your way home”
And I laugh to hear the echo of a voice from long ago
When I felt safe and oh so strong at someone’s side

I learned to love the road at my daddy’s side
Learned to love adventure on those afternoon rides
Now I keep on moving even when I don’t know where
‘Cause I know that I’ll know when I get there
Daddy, I’ll find my way home

Copyright © words and music 1995, 2004 Ellen Stapenhorst

CALL THE WIND

You must have called the wind, she said
It’s never blown like this before
Sounds like someone crying, someone wanting to be heard
Now it’s shaking all the trees and breaking off branches
But don’t worry, sister, our roots are strong in the earth

Oooh, A change is coming, don’t try to hold on
Oooh, This storm that’s blowing will soon be gone

The wind is getting wilder now, it’s pounding at the windows
Gathers up loose ends and it takes them for a ride
Reaches in your mouth and rips away your words
And it scours through your soul till there’s nothing left to hide

Oooh, A change is coming, don’t try to hold on
Oooh, This storm that’s blowing will soon be gone

The wind has called the clouds today to bring their gift of rain to us
They’re gathered like a tribe of gods to watch us from on high
There are forces so much larger here than anything we know
Oh, dance with the wind when you hear it call your name

Oooh, A change is coming, don’t try to hold on
Oooh, This storm that’s blowing will soon be gone
Oooh, A change is coming, don’t try to hold on
Oooh, This storm that’s blowing will soon be gone

COME BACK HOME

Come back home, you’ve been away too long
Come back home, you don’t have to be strong
You can lie back in my arms and drift away
Come back home for as long as you can stay

There was a man who gave to me the skies
All of the stars were reflected in his eyes
He said, “Let me show to you just how wonderful you are”
He touched my face and left another scar

Come back home, you’ve been away too long
Come back home, you don’t have to be strong
You can lie back in my arms and drift away
Come back home for as long as you can stay

There was a night when the world seemed to sing
Must have been the devil telling me I could have anything
And I let my hunger show for a lover just for me
It was a foolish thing to think that this might be

Come back home….

All of these days go rolling by so fast
In every moment there is something that will last
And there’s nothing you can do to stop me loving you
This is my choice, this is what I do

Come back home, you’ve been away too long
Come back home, you don’t have to be strong
You can lie back in my arms and drift away
Come back home for as long as you can stay
Come back home for as long as you can stay

EXILE

Tell it to me, say it again
This long time of waiting is coming to an end
Well, I never gave up…now I’m giving in
To the comfort of your open skies, no blame for where I’ve been

Too many years I have wandered
Too many things I thought I had to do
I’ve been a long while in exile
Now I’m coming back to you

Last night alone in a cabin up high
I stared at the Milky Way splashed across the sky
And I thought I was lost as the wind chilled my bones
The freedom of my emptiness the only thing I owned

Too many years I have wandered
Too many things I thought I had to do
I’ve been a long while in exile
Now I’m coming back to you

Then a great shooting star fell from the sky
The light from its passing was a flame a thousand miles high
And it showed me the road I’d been on so long
Showed me everything I love and gave me back a song

Too many years I have wandered
Too many things I thought I had to do
I’ve been a long while in exile
Now I’m coming back to you
I’ve been a long while in exile
Now I’m coming back to you

GENERATIONS

I never had a daughter from this body
But when I look at you
Such tenderness is in my breast
I want to make things safe for you
When I hear you sing and laugh
I know that I must clear a path
And gather wildflowers on the way
And give them all to you

I never had a son from this body
But when I look at you
Such a start hits my heart
I want to make a place for you
To live your dreams and walk with fire
Have the things that you require
To grow into a loving man
I want this all for you

I never had children from this body
But when I look at you
You give meaning to my words
And strength to do what I must do
So you have good clean earth to walk upon
Air to breathe and love so strong
That it will last your whole life long
I want this all for you

I never had a daughter from this body
Never had sons from this body
Never had children from this body
But somehow you are mine

GOOD ENOUGH

Well, I’ll never be good enough
Who’s to say when I’ve stood enough?
‘Cause I’ll never be good enough for you
Well, I’m drawing a line and I’m not gonna let you cross it
I’m going to find out for myself what’s good enough

I’ll never be strong enough
I start to cry and it makes you afraid
That I’ll never be strong enough for you
Well, I’m standing up tall, tears are running down my face
And I’m feeling it all and that feels strong

Well, I’ll never be nice enough
And bad girls lose a chance to be loved
But I’ll never be nice enough for you
I’m speaking my mind and you might not like what you’re gonna hear
I’m not being unkind…I’m not just a nice girl

You’re not the one to define me
Though I bought those rules a long time ago
I’m breaking them now, one by one
I’m gonna find out what is real

‘Cause I’ll never be good enough
And I’ll never be strong enough
And I’ll never be nice enough for you

No, I might never be nice enough
But I’ll try to be strong enough
I’m gonna find out what is good enough for me
For me, for me

HOLY RAIN

Written in the fall of 2002 in Paonia, Colorado, after a blazing summer of fires….the first blessed rain. A couple of years earlier, at a rain dance in southern Colorado, the Hopi Elders told us that if the Creator answered our prayers and sent us rain, we should not cover our heads—that would be putting a barrier between us and the gifts of the Creator. It poured that day.

It’s been a long dry summer, and the fires have been raging
The cracked earth cries out in thirst
Clouds pass by, my face stays dry
At last I’m longing for the first

Holy rain, coming down
Fill the sky, heal the ground
Holy rain, wash me clean
So I can hear my heart again

When I read the headlines, they are filled with pain
And a world that’s forgotten how to breathe (and how to grieve)
The war drums pound as if the sound
Could drown the hurt and make the sorrow leave

Holy rain, coming down
Fill the sky, heal the ground
Holy tears, wash me clean
So I can hear my heart again

You can’t know heaven, the wise ones say
If you try to hold hard times away
If you pray for rain, an old one said
When it comes, don’t cover your head

So I pray for courage to stand in the fire
To feel all that life gives
And I pray for tears to wash through my fears
So in love, I’ll know how to live

Holy rain, coming down
Fill the sky, heal the ground
Holy tears, wash me clean
So I can hear my heart again
Holy rain, wash me clean
So I can hear my heart again

LOVE’S REWARD

Sometimes I spend all my time making money
Then I spend a lot of money trying to buy a little more time
Always something different we are looking for
One thing I know…love is its own reward

Out on the road sometimes I long to stay in one place
When I’m home I start to wishing to be any other where
Always something different we are looking for
One thing I know…love is its own reward

Love can move the mountains, it works like gravity
Bringing things together, like you and me

Sometimes I search for the one to make me happy
Then I look for all the reasons why you’re not the perfect one
Always something different we are looking for
One thing I know…love is its own reward

Some times are hard, that’s just the way it goes
Good times in hard times….love can make it so

For all the times that I wish my life were different
If I can just keep my heart open, I can end this private war
Always something different we are looking for
One thing I know…love is its own reward
Always something different when love comes through the door
One thing I know…love is its own reward

ONE MOMENT MORE

All the things that I took for granted
Are slipping away from me now
Time’s getting short, words getting few
I’ll get by but I don’t know how

And the train’s pulling out of the station
What has this fighting been for?
Now I think of everything I’d say
If I had one moment more

All the things that I thought important
Are like weeds in the wind blowing by
I was sure I was right, I dug in for the fight
Now I’ve got nothing but wondering why

All the reasons made beautiful logic
And they kept me away from my fear
That I’d love and I’d lose and the scar and the bruise
Would never heal if I held you near

And the train’s pulling out of the station
What has this fighting been for?
Now I think of everything I’d say
If I had one moment more
Just one moment more

All the questions I’m longing to ask you
All the answers I never could hear
Are alive in my dreams till sometimes it seems
That I could never hold you more dear

And the train’s pulling out of the station
What has this fighting been for?
Now I think of everything I’d say
If I had one moment more
Just one moment more

© 2004 words and music Ellen Stapenhorst

TRAVELER

I am a pilgrim and a traveler
And I love the journey like I love my home
On the open highway, in the wild high desert
In the cool green mountains, I never feel alone

Sometimes I travel a long time alone
The wild my only companion
Night after night in the pale starlight
I see that the road carries on

I am a pilgrim and a traveler
And I love the journey like I love my home
On the open highway, in the wild high desert
In the cool green mountains, I never feel alone

Sometime I walk at the side of a friend
Together we find our way
Down roads unused for many long years
Or roads traveled yesterday

There’s beauty in all things around me
Life that I don’t always see
I walk in darkness till a sudden summer rain
Washes the blindness from me

I carry inside me the seeds of my home
Plant them wherever I can
In wide open spaces and wild open hearts
In the touch of a loving hand

I am a pilgrim and a traveler
And I love the journey like I love my home
On the open highway, in the wild high desert
In the cool green mountains, I never feel alone
Ah, the journey is my home

WALK ON EARTH

For Julia Butterfly Hill

She came to the forest in answer to a call
An Arkansas traveler, bound to see it all
The daughter of a preacher, she learned to seek the truth
And to love all of creation on this earth

She did not want to walk on water, she did not try to walk on air
But every day she gave thanks for a greater miracle
To walk on earth…the answer to her prayer

She climbed an ancient redwood to save it from the saw
As the days turned into months turned into years she lived in awe
The storms that came each winter, they nearly broke her vow
Till she learned to bend and sway just like the bough

“This was not a planned adventure, I was following my heart
I’m just an ordinary woman, trying to do my part
To protect this precious life on earth, the spirit that we share
With all living things of water, land and air

I do not want to walk on water, I do not try to walk on air
But every day I give thanks for a greater miracle
To walk on earth…the answer to my prayer”

There’s a gift waiting in each of us to emerge from its cocoon
That’s the message of the butterfly and a tree named for the moon
A legacy of hope and change, a reminder to be true
And to seek the best in everyone and all we do

I do not want to walk on water, I do not try to walk on air
But every day I give thanks for a greater miracle
To walk on earth is the answer to my prayer

Words and music © 2004 Ellen Stapenhorst

WHEN THE GROUND GIVES WAY (STAND BY ME)

I thought me I had to say goodbye
Close the door and let these feelings die
I watched you walk away, disappear
Then come back to say that you’re always here
And last night driving home in the full moon
I turned my lights out, the road was bright before me
And it all made sense, clear as day
There’s no defense when the ground gives way

Come take my hand, stand by me
Come help me land on my feet
Come in the night, come when it’s light
And stand by me

I’ve made my share of stupid mistakes
Can you forgive me, can I forgive myself?
It’s such a human thing to try and hide
All this longing and this pain inside
Being alive is a wonder and a joy
I see it clearly through this wall of tears
And when I forget you gently say
There’s nothing to protect when the ground gives way

Come take my hand, stand by me
Come help me land on my feet
Come in the night, come when it’s light
And stand by me

There are so many losses where we have no choice
If you were gone tomorrow I’d be waiting on the wind to hear your voice

I didn’t know I could ask you to stay
I’m down to nothing, I’m empty and I’m raw
Just this open hand, a leap of faith
That we will stand when the ground gives way

Come take my hand, stand by me
Come help me land on my feet
Come in the night, come when it’s light
And stand by me